This post links to and briefly summarizes two recent child custody cases where homeschooling plays an important role. The topic is important for several reasons. First, these are the kind of cases that homeschooling advocacy groups like HSLDA know better than to get involved in, so they don’t. Because of this lack of involvement they are not the kind of cases that are generally publicized in the homeschooling community, which is a shame because they get at some important and often painful realities. Second, these cases help explain why the debate over the competing rights of parents, state, and child is not going to go away. Third, they offer a window into the real world of homeschooling that one never reads about in the how-to books. Of course we must be quick to note that the stories recounted in these court cases are by no means typical or normal. It would be a terrible mistake to generalize about the entire world of homeschooling from these troubling and sordid examples. But it would be an equally terrible mistake to pretend that such things are not going on as we work out public policy. These are not isolated instances, as this post from Roscommon Acres and the related posts at the end of it make plain. Here are the cases:
First we have In re Savannah S. et al., a case filed in July of ’09 by the Tennessee Court of Appeals. You can read the entire decision here. The decision terminated a mother’s parental rights to her four adopted children due to abundant evidence of horrific sexual abuse. Though described in a measured, legal tone, the details of the case are heart-breaking. I especially want to stress in this review one important piece of evidence provided by the mother herself. After it became clear to her that outsiders were becoming aware of what was happening to her children because of their presence in public school, the mother took action. Here are her own words:
I didn’t threaten to. I, actually, took them out of school…. Because I spoke at work to some of the other nurses and they were homeschooling [sic]. At that time, I had no idea the children were going to be removed from my home, so I thought it would be better to homeschool [sic] her, rather than to go through this, going to school and telling whatever she — you know, she told, you know. I guess it was my way of trying to solve the problem.
I doubt anyone who takes the time to read through the horrors to which these children were subjected in the home of this family will feel very comfortable arguing for the unlimited and exclusive right of this parent to raise her children as she sees fit.
Now for the second case. A few months ago I devoted a series of posts (here) to Kathryn Joyce’s fascinating book Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement. A recent case in Kentucky, Gertler v. Gertler, illustrates what can happen when a “Titus 2” woman decides she’s had enough patriarchy and wants out.
The full decision of the Kentucky Court of Appeals can be found here. The Gertlers were married in 1996 and have four children. The couple embraced a very rustic lifestyle, with no electricity or hot water, no medical or dental care for the kids, home-spun modest clothing made by Mrs. Gertler, and a general commitment to the principle that the wife should submit to the husband in all things.
IN 2007 Mrs. Gertler had had enough and filed for divorce, seeking sole custody of the children. A lower court granted her request, in part “because Mr. Gertler was unable to accept his wife’s equal authority in decision-making” as Kentucky law for joint-custody requires. The father appealed, arguing that the mother had, earlier in the marriage, agreed to be submissive in all things and that the “essence of good parenting” requires that the father be the decision maker and rule setter. The Kentucky Court of Appeals upheld the district court’s ruling that the father’s beliefs made it unlikely that he would, now or in the future, be able to work with the mother in crafting an amicable upbringing for their children and hence concurred that the mother should be given full custody. She has since re-entered the mainstream world even to the point of getting a job at the Christian school to which she now sends her children.
It’s a fascinating story, even in the terse form it’s told in the court’s ruling. Anyone out there looking for a great subject for a human interest story on women leaving the Quiverfull lifestyle might want to give Mrs. Gertler a call.
Hard cases make bad law.
What wise public policy should be would take into account consideration of relative risk, which is unknown. Is a child more at risk at home or in school? Conventional wisdom would be that the school, the cultural default, is safer but there are in fact many dangers to students in school from the bullying and abuse by other students to the same by teachers who are notoriously difficult to fire even when known to be bad for children.
I fear public policy attempts to make children safe at home that would only be a bureaucratic distraction from teaching, the same burden that hinders schoolroom teachers.
One of the reasons home schooling works is that most of us do not have a great deal of paperwork to file with the state and so are free to spend more time pursuing our lessons and the interests of our children.
I am Mrs. Gertler’s mother. This case was not about homeschooling but rather about total control by the father. In the beginning of the marriage, there was no indication about the lifestyle they were to lead, and my daughter certainly did not agree to live that way, but forced into it slowly over the years (not sure why she allowed that to happen). Control was exercised over every small and large aspect of the wife’s and the childrens’ lives. What they ate (including forced fasting at times), what they wore, whom they saw, what they read, what they believed, and what the children were taught during homeschooling. Any subject had to have the father’s approval and he tried to keep it to the basic 3 R’s. Nothing else. There was no doctor or dentist for the wife or the children, but yet the father saw it necessary to consult a holistic practitioner for his own ailments.
While I am not entirely in favor of homeschooling(I think kids need to develop social skills in school, including how to deal with bullies, because you’ll have that too in adult life), I do have friends that have very successfully educated their kids at home. And homeschooling should not be used as a tool of control and consequently deprive kids of knowledge, as was the case here.
Hello I am/was a close friend of the mother,
I would like to say that most of the lifestyle that the Gertlers had were her idea. We are still friends with her ex husband and I have been shocked to find out how much things were really encouraged by her and now that she is not there, well lets just say that he doesn’t keep allot of the radical views that they once had. I remember having many conversations with Mrs. Gertler (remembering I was her friend first)and she held stricter views than we do and some way too far, Concerning the dress and health issues.
Yes she sought to try and put her husband in the place God has intended men to be, but never did I feel or see that Mr. Gertler took advantage of that at any time. Maybe some of the problem of why she now is worldly other than the help of un-biblical influences?? God knows, but I would like to say the Bible is very clear that a woman should submit and as a woman in Western even so called “Christian” Culture where women rule it has been very hard for me to see this and even hard for my husband to step up and “play the Man”.
Why? because of women liberals and spineless lustful men who have strayed this country and working on others, from Gods design and headship order.Read1 Corinthians 11 to start with.:-)I being one of those ex-liberals until reading the bible, becoming a Christian and realizing how far I was from what God wanted and expected from me! My whole family almost are divorced including my dear mother whom is now gone. We were taught if this man doesn’t work get a new one!? Women rule our family and the outcome of the next generation are astoundingly SAD!!
Has this ultimately caused the bankruptcy of this country due to public aid? Welfare and other governmental programs? Also “public” school would not be needed if women were at home teaching these precious souls for Christ and if the “church” body were doing it’s Job in taking care of the fatherless and widows. Public school is exactly what it says, PUBLIC, for the PUBLIC, not for the “Christians”!
I urge anyone to fast and pray and seek God for Truth and he will show you IF you are willing to forsake ALL for His sake and the Gospel!!!!!!
Joann whom I still pray for and love, was drawn away by her own lust of the flesh, the Bible says. I talked with her personally and with out betraying her confidence i will just say that the problems they had as a couple were not any of the things stated in court or here on this site!
Martyred – you’re not doing your “friend” any favors with your post. This especially:
God knows, but I would like to say the Bible is very clear that a woman should submit and as a woman in Western even so called “Christian” Culture where women rule it has been very hard for me to see this and even hard for my husband to step up and “play the Man”.
If you think women are ruling in our – Western even so called “Christian” Culture – you are deluding yourself. I certainly hope you are not homeschooling if that is an example of your examination of the world.
I am shocked by some of these comments and will say here that Mrs. Gertler is a dear person, taught our children at the Galilean Christian Academy as a classroom aide. Any man practicing this lifestyle of subjugation, is simply misled. NO MAN should control his wife or children in any way but should be an equal. This is a terrible thing that has been twisted in the Bible and these Titus women are truly brainwashed into believing this and their husbands lead them into believing that this is what God wants. These men are charlatans, sociopathic and dangerous. Even the Mennonite women do not follow these principles, even though their church is a patriarchy.
Remember, ye Titus women, that Mary Magdalene was one of Christ’s most trusted confidantes. Would he expect women to submit to him? No, he expects all of us to come to him as children, in a trusting way. Therefore he expects all of us to treat each other with kindness and mutual respect, especially in a marriage and where there are children involved. Just because you have an equal relationship with your husband does not make you a whore or a liberal. And Christ was probably the greatest “liberal” of them all.
This is truly disturbing stuff. As a woman and a Christian I am absolutely OUTRAGED!